Away from the flock; pacing back and forth along the fence. Head down, eyes scanning the ground, trying to figure out what to do about my son’s problems. 

Jesus calls me to come and be with Him, closer to the flock. I am distracted as I go to Him. He scoops me up and holds me close. I can feel the cush of my sheep’s wool between HIm and me, as He pulls me close to His heart.

He wants to talk to me about Me. He wants my mind off my son. He tells me I am important, and that He wants to be with Me; He wants our time to be about Me.

I resist. I am a swirling mess inside. My feelings are all over the place. It’s so much easier to worry about my son than to see all the confusion, shame, doubt and fear in my heart – hurt buried for decades. Jesus tells me this is my root problem: I worry about others to avoid admitting what is inside me. Not only confusion but disappointment, disillusionment, pain, heartache, sadness, fear of abandonment and more. He tells me, “This is where we begin.” In His arms, talking – my heart to His heart.

Worrying about everyone else, controlling others, thinking I have answers for everyone – that I can fix them – is my way of running away from the powerlessness I feel inside.

“Stay,” Jesus says to me. “Stay in my arms. We must focus on you. I will take care of them.”

Submitted by Charity Lawrence